Bikram Hot Yoga

Bikram (Hot) Yoga

The term, “That's hot,” has become very popular in describing things that are trendy. “That's hot,” is exactly how I would describe Bikram Yoga. Not because it is trendy. Well, it is. But I describe it that way because it's f-ing HOT! Scorchingly hot.

My sister was very successful losing weight doing Bikram Yoga. Still, at first I was resistant to the idea. I don't do trendy workouts. No yoga, no pilates, no pole dancing. I thought that if I was going to work out, I was going to do a “real” workout. Hit the pavement!

Well, that didn't work out either. And I so badly wanted to dismiss these stubborn ten pounds. (Am I keeping these ten pounds because they are stubborn, or because I am? Too stubborn to eat right and work out regularly...) So, Din suckered me in. I went to yoga with her. I signed up and paid for not one, but ten sessions. And they threw in a complimentary eleventh one to boot. I was on my way to svelte. At least that's what my sister told me. This is what she did not tell me:

Bikram (HOT) Yoga f-ing sucks! I didn't like it the moment I walked into the building. Inhale. Feet. Sweaty ones. New to yoga, I did not have my own mat. $1 and you get to borrow one. It, too, reeked of sweaty feet. This is just the front room. Proceed to the door of the yoga room, open it up and- WHOOSH! Wet heat smacks you in the face, you inhale, and it smells like crotch. Sweaty crotch.

Now let me get to why I really loathe Bikram Yoga. Minimum temperature is 105 degrees. You feel each and every one of those degrees. I didn't have to worry about the smell too much, because before long I couldn't breathe. The heavy heat was suffocating me, and I couldn't breathe. Then the instructor instructed us to breathe. “Empty our lungs.” She had us do a series of exhalations to empty the lungs, but there weren't enough satisfying inhalations, in my opinion, to counteract the lightheadedness I felt. And that wasn't fair.

The first pose was one where you put your arms straight up in the air over your head, and press your palms together. Ardha-Chandrasana. Sounds easy enough. By now, the sweat was dripping, pouring out of each pore. Down my arms, down my back, trickling down the backs of my legs. Really, everywhere. My ankles were sweating. And I'd only been in the room for a few minutes. I'd only had my hands over my head for a few seconds, but they were starting to tingle. This was hard, and for the first time, I thought to myself, “I can't do this.” We were expected to hold our arms in said position, and lean far to the right, and hold it. And then lean far to the left, and hold it. I couldn't stay still. I had to move, sway my hips forwards and backwards. It took forever to get to the next pose. I don't remember what it was, but it was definitely harder. I tried to hold it; I really did. Who is this Bikram Yoga guy and what was he thinking when he created this? I looked to my left and to my right, and everyone had such serene expressions on their faces as they held their pose. HOW??? I fell to my mat. Sweet savasana.

Savasana was my saving grace during this 90 MINUTE session. (Yes, 90 minutes, and the longest hour and a half ever.) The instructor told us we could get into this rest position at any time we deemed necessary, and I was taking full advantage. All you have to do is lie flat with your arms at your sides for savasana. This is where I had time to think about if this is where I needed to be at this point in my life. I looked over at the clock. 75 minutes left. Sigh. A small voice inside of me asked, “Is this what hell feels like?” I muster the strength to rise again. I didn't want to be a giver upper!

We did a series of demanding stretch poses. Some I was able to hold surprisingly well. Still others, were slippery. Literally. There is one where you have to balance on one foot and hold the other foot in your hands, fingers interlocked, leg bent at a 90 degree angle. (The official Bikram Yoga name for this position is Dandayamana-Janushirasana.) Then, if you feel you can, stretch that leg out straight, parallel with the floor, all the while holding the foot flat in your interlocked fingers. I tried, and quickly reverted back to the right angle style. Which was a challenge in itself, because all the sweat kept threatening to make holding that foot impossible. Very slippery. With all my strength I tried to hold on. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the sweat slide down my face. I thought, “Even my eyelids are sweating! Or wait, is that a tear?” I looked to my left and to my right. Serenity. Again, I fell to my mat. There was a succession of these types of torturous poses to hold throughout the session, and I damn sure used my savasanas liberally.

It was a joyous moment when the session was over! I didn't enjoy it at all, but I did feel that I had accomplished something. I felt proud. I felt limber. And I felt spent, which was surprising since I hardly moved the whole time. Despite hating it, I made myself go back for more. I had, after all, an 11-pack deal. I used five of them. And left early during one of those. (What? Would YOU like to help yourself to my remaining sessions??) It is not for everybody, but Bikram Yoga has absolutely earned my respect as a tough workout.

xoxo

~ nkechi