30 Day Shred
Baby weight. I like to call it that because it makes me feel better about carrying these last few stubborn pounds. Truth is this isn’t weight gained from being pregnant and it isn’t just a few pounds. This is weight from eating and sitting on my ass. Weight to the tune of 15 pounds. I have always been a pretty active person and worked out. Never have I been the type to really “eat right.” I like food. I like good food. I also like wine and margaritas. Dieting is not an easy task for me. I would rather work out like a football player during two-a-days training sessions. Problem is, I haven’t been doing that. I’ve been pretty idle with sporadic runs here and there. May 1, 2009. Today is the day this changes. I decide that part of the problem is time. I have none. I hear about Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred and decide I’m going to give it a try. It’s a 20 minute workout combining cardio and strength and it’s only 20 minutes. I have watched Jillian kick the ass of all the contestants on the Biggest Loser, so I know she is hardcore. I went to Target to pick it up and get started.
Day 1.
The video says to start on level 1 and work you way up. Ok. Easy enough. Each workout is 20 minutes long. Perfect. Gym clothes on. Shoes laced. Time to start. The music is dreadful. The workout is too easy. I didn’t even sweat. Maybe this isn’t the way to go. I go for a run and think about how pissed I am that I wasted 20 minutes listening to reject techno.
Day 1, 4 hours later.
I didn’t want to give up completely. I start level 2. This is no joke. I’m sweating like a pig and cursing at the TV in between grunts.
Day 2.
I hate chair squats and v-fly. Damn you, Jillian.
Day 3.
I decide to shred in the morning and go for a run in the fabulous Houston 90 degree weather. I’m going to die. Shred + Run = Hardcore workout. I feel like Rocky.
Day 4.
I really don’t want to shred today, but it’s only 20 minutes, so I guess I will. I’m really sore. Damn you, Jillian.
Day 5.
It’s Cinco de Mayo. If I’m going to shred, I need to do it before festivities. I shred in the morning before work and get everything done just in time to make it for margaritas at 4pm. I am sure this is not what Jillian had in mind while on this program. Jillian probably does not approve of the many tacos and chips I had today either.
Day 6.
Shredded. I think the alcohol from yesterday is seeping out through my pores. Afterwards, I go for a run. Strangely, I feel energized and have a strong run.
Day 7.
It’s another Shred + Run day. Gotta love Houston weather. 93 degrees. Die. I also decide to check my stats today to see where I am with this Shred business. No weight lost. Nothing. Not even ½ a pound. How do I know not even ½ a pound? Because I have the Tanita scale that will register that ½ pound weight loss to make you feel ½ way better. It didn’t register anything. If I were on the Biggest Loser, I would be below the yellow line today.
Day 8.
Shred + Run in the morning. It’s getting better but really, the chair squats and v-fly blow and I wish Jillian would stop making me do them. Also, Natalie (one of the workout models) is a space cadet. Jillian asks her questions and she just smiles and stares off into space.
Day 9.
Shred + Run. I feel awesome and my husband says I’m hot. Yeah. I feel like a rock star.
Day 10.
It’s Mother’s Day and if I’m going to get my shred in, I need to do it in the morning. I don’t. Apparently my family believes in the gift of food for Mother’s Day, so it’s an eat-a-thon. No shredding and I feel like a whale. Thanks, fam.
Day 11.
I shredded twice today. Double shred. Die.
Day 12.
I’m thinking about moving to level 3 but I think I’ll just hang around at level 2 a little longer. Plus, I can curse Jillian on cue.
Day 13.
I decide to move up to level 3. WTF is this!? Am I being punished? I’m a human pogo stick with all these plyometrics. I think I want to return to level 2 but if I do I feel like Jillian is going to jump out the screen and yell at me. Plus I’ll feel like a loser. I’m really not about that.
Day 14
I have the freaking munchies. I don’t want to shred but I definitely don’t want to double shred tomorrow. I decide to run and shred later. I can’t grasp the idea of doing rock star jumps today, but maybe after I run I’ll feel energized. Fail. I baked cookies, and ate 4.
Day 15
Since I skipped out on shredding yesterday, it’s a double shred day. Double shred on level 3. I am surprised the TV is still in tact. Later that evening I have 3 glasses of wine.
Day 16.
Great run, level 3 shred. Awesome! Thought I would check in on the Tanita today as well. Nothing. This isn’t going well. Where are those cookies I baked and why is there an empty bottle of wine in the fridge?
Day 17
Run. Shred. I don’t hate the plyometrics as much anymore… so I celebrate with margaritas. Cheers!
Day 18
At school today, another student comes up to me and tells me how great I look and wants to know how I lost so much weight. Wow. According to Tanita, I’m still flabby. Yay! I did get my shred in.
Day 19
Same student again comes up to me, this time she gives me a hug and tells me she is so proud of me. Well, jeez… how fat was I? Today was a shred+run day.
I’ll spare you the remaining details of the day-to-day because it’s all shred, shred+run. There was also some Bikram thrown in there, but not consistently. All in all, 30 Day Shred is a good workout. For me, I feel like I need more cardio which is why I combined running. All “run” days meant a 3 mile run in 30 minutes or less. I did notice that while I was actually doing level 3, it was hard, after I did not feel like I had a hard workout, so I started to alternate between level 2 and level 3. Also, keep in mind I didn’t really “diet.” First, I don’t do diets. Second, this was one of those months where it seemed every time I turned around there was a reason to eat and drink (I think that may be every month, though). I know numbers talk so, here is what 30 Day Shred did for me:
WAIST -2.5
WAIST (LOWER PART) -3
HIPS (TRUE) -1.5
HIPS (WHERE MY FAT POCKETS ARE) -2.5
THIGH R -1 L -1.5
ARMS R -2 L -2.5
POUNDS -3
FAT % -6.5%
xoxo
din