absolute vanity

JBNI/Biodrux Review

2009-12-02T02:00:00.004-06:00

(Yes, it’s Michael and yes I'm temporarily hijacking this blog with permission…)

I’m a “feel good” junkie. To achieve that all elusive, sustained feeling of energy and well being I’ll try almost anything. If it’s available, affordable and legal, I’ve probably done it. I have experimented with copious amounts of Red Bull, green tea matcha shots, and diet pills. I’ve done weekly hip injections of B-12, concentrated aloe vera juice, the Perricone diet and taken CLA supplements with my workouts. All provided recognizable benefits, but none experienced without some undesired side effect.

Recently I had the opportunity to try a few products from JBNI/Biodrux. As with most herbal companies the claims were hyperbolic, so I approached with a degree of skepticism. I used two products over a three-week period, Epstin for fatigue, taken with Leitzin for mood and emotional stability. These both come in 500mg capsules taken 3 times daily. What I experienced was a smooth, clear-headed feeling of alertness without the dizzying effect of an unnatural “buzz”, which is way too common with most herbal supplements. I also felt much more tolerant and calm during periods that normally make me stressed and subsequently moody. I was impressed enough that I did some research on the company. Based on their web site (http://www.jbni.us/, http://biodrux.com/ ) and the accompanying product literature, it appears their approach is more pharmaceutical and science based than most natural product companies which I found refreshing. The only drawback was the dosage (4 pills, 3 times daily) and the price point, which seemed a little high, but the results are well worth it. Highly recommend.

Before I forget, I also tried the Immortal Mist spray. I have no idea what is in this and I can only trust that it’s 100% natural as it claims, but this stuff is like liquid crack! The documentation claims it helps beautify and hydrate your skin, which sounds womanish, but I don’t care because it just FEELS great! I use it daily and it provides an instant refreshing feeling when sprayed on the face and hair. This is definitely something I will be using on a regular basis. Give it a try, let me know what you think.

A Facial in a Smoothie

2009-08-10T10:59:00.002-05:00

This is a recipe taken from Kimberly Snyder's Envision Beauty Blog. (see www.kimberlysnyder.net) It's a great smoothie with TONS of health benefits, one of them being great skin. Loaded with vitamin A, this smoothie is like a drinkable facial. Vitamin A can help prevent acne and keeps skin looking youthful. Drink up!

3 handfuls of organic spinach

1/2 bunch of mint

3 organic peaches

1 organic banana

1 1/2 cups water

Blend spinach and water. Add mint. Add remaining ingredients and enjoy cold.

Reply

2009-07-22T14:04:00.005-05:00

I felt this reply could apply to many of you. I wanted to post it so it would be easy to find.

Good morning ladies, can you post on brazilian hair straightening, MAC cosmetics, and quick remedies for dark marks please? I'm actually in the process of growing my perm off and boy is it a challenge :-/, I've read up on brazilian and it seems pretty cool. Any thoughts? Also I went to see a dermatologist by the name of Milton Moore and I had a glycolic facial and it seems as though it has done a number on my skin......helpppp! I've noticed that you all mention a lot of products from Sephora, do you all reccommend MAC products? Thanks.

Hello, ChaunceeNicole.

MAC: I love the lip glosses. The stay put even though they are thick as molasses and may hair always gets stuck in the gloss. I also LOVE the Loose Iridescent Powder from MAC in Golden Bronze. Gives a nice shimmery glow (tap the brush to remove the excess unless you are going for the vegas show girl look). I find the powders and foundations are a bit thick for my liking. I usually stick to Makeup Forever's HD Powder and the Body Foundation. Gives a lighter coverage for the times I do wear foundation. Other MAC product I love is the Pigment, a highly concentrated loose powder. Be careful when you use that product! A little goes a LOOOONG way.

Brazilian Hair Straightening: I have not personally tried this technique. What I have tried and like is a Dominican Salon. They stylists there can get your hair straight and smooth without the use of chemicals. The stylist I see uses a round brush. Word of warning: that is one hot dryer you have to sit under. Summertime is the worst. I was there not too long ago and it was 100 degrees out. Sitting under that dryer, I was burning up. Not to mention I had run out of water and was so thirsty I was panting like a porn star. In the end, it was all worth it. If you have been growing out your relaxer and have gorgeous natural hair, I would try a Dominican Salon first before you put another chemical in your hair. Just my thoughts.

Glycolic facials... I see you posted this July 17th. Have you seen any improvement in your skin? I remember the first time I got a facial, specifically a peel. I didn't know what to expect. During the application, it was a bit tingly, but not unbearable. Afterwards, when I walked out I noticed I looked a bit red and "raw." Later on that day, when I was supposed to go out to eat with my sister I saw that I had scabs all over my face. I was horrified! These scabs lasted a good 3 days. Once they went away, I was left with beautiful, glowing, clear skin. Peel rules: Don't get a peel unless you can hide out for 3 days.

Dark spots. Let's see... I have tried just about everything in the world short of laser treatments and unfortunately, there is not "quick" remedy for getting rid of dark spots. There are effective treatments, but all take time.

Argan Body

2009-07-10T21:45:00.001-05:00

Argan Body is having a HUGE sale on it's Aromatic Dead Sea Collection. Go to www.arganbody.com and check it out. Many items are $5 and $10. The Nourishing Hair Cream is absolutely fabulous!!!

Free Stuff at Bliss!!!!!

2009-07-02T10:52:00.002-05:00

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Body Wrap

2009-07-01T12:46:00.002-05:00

Body Wrap

I have to say that getting a body wrap is THE silliest, most futile effort that I've made to shed a few pounds. Normally, in preparation for something such as my wedding or a vacation, I'll watch what I eat and work out more regularly to achieve a frame that is about five pounds lighter. That usually starts a few weeks before an occasion. But when my dear husband surprised me with a trip to Costa Rica, I was very excited and also very unprepared. Almost instinctively, one hand slipped down to a love handle while the other fell to a saddlebag, and I felt around trying to gauge how much work I had cut out for me in less than a week. I immediately began scouring the Internet for the solution to losing five pounds or more in about five days.

Diet pills? Nah. I needed to do this without somehow poisoning my body. Lipo? Oh, nooo... I've seen that done on TV and I will NOT subject myself to such battery. Besides, with how much the procedure costs it's either that or the vacation, not both! I don't do liquid diets. That would just make me bitchy... So, I kept coming back to this body wrap idea. I knew it sounded too good to be true, but I was desperate. It took only an hour, cost $100, and boasted claims about losing 6-21 inches with one wrap. It claimed to rid the body of toxins, which are supposedly responsible for excess inches and cellulite. Plus smoother and tighter skin to boot. Since I didn't have to ingest anything, I gave it a try.

When I got there, the room smelled. It smelled like old sweat. I had a real problem with that. The woman had me take off everything except for my panties, and when I am disrobing for any type of procedure, I want to feel like the room is pristine. She came back in and proceeded to wrap me up tightly with ace bandages that were soaked in some cocktail of herbs and juices and berries meant to extract toxins and fat from my cells and into my lymphatic system. She wrapped me so tightly that it was uncomfortable. My whole body was wrapped, so I literally looked like a mummy. Then- gasp!- she asked me to get on the elliptical! What?! The whole reason I was there was because I had been avoiding exercise. She explained to me that I had to keep my body moving to let all the toxins flow right on out. She said I only needed to move a little bit; the goal was not to break a sweat and burn calories but to just keep moving. I guess.

She left me in the room with the elliptical and a movie and told me to keep moving for 45 minutes. Now, while I understood that the goal was not to get a workout here, it was impossible not to. I was barely moving, but when you are bound tightly with unyielding ace bandages, this is quite a feat. I was short of breath, but I kept it moving. And I felt very silly. I kept looking down at the tub underneath the machine that was there to catch all of the liquid straining off of me as I moved, which supposedly contained all my evil, unwanted toxins. All of the sense inside of me told me that pure physics just wouldn't allow this to actually work. So this magic formula is seeping through my skin, into my cells, rounding up all the toxins and fat it that could inside of each cell, then whisking it away, out of the cell, out through my skin, and down into this tub? Riiight... but I kept moving.

Forty-five minutes couldn't come fast enough, and when it finally did I was so grateful to have the constricting bandages removed. And I honestly believe that once they were, everything fell right back into place. See, all wrapped up tightly I looked great. Everything was sucked up and flat and smooth. It was like one big body Spanx. But just like when you remove those Spanx at the end of the day, everything gets let out, cellulite and all. It was a letdown. Sure, she measured me, before and after, and afterwards there was the reported inch or half inch here and there, but nothing to write home about.

I really enjoyed my vacation anyway, with my extra five pounds of upholstery and visible cellulite. Really, at an all-inclusive resort, by day three or four I usually gain back at least some of anything I'd lost anyway.

xoxo nkechi

30 Day Shred

2009-06-27T21:35:00.009-05:00

30 Day Shred

Baby weight. I like to call it that because it makes me feel better about carrying these last few stubborn pounds. Truth is this isn’t weight gained from being pregnant and it isn’t just a few pounds. This is weight from eating and sitting on my ass. Weight to the tune of 15 pounds. I have always been a pretty active person and worked out. Never have I been the type to really “eat right.” I like food. I like good food. I also like wine and margaritas. Dieting is not an easy task for me. I would rather work out like a football player during two-a-days training sessions. Problem is, I haven’t been doing that. I’ve been pretty idle with sporadic runs here and there. May 1, 2009. Today is the day this changes. I decide that part of the problem is time. I have none. I hear about Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred and decide I’m going to give it a try. It’s a 20 minute workout combining cardio and strength and it’s only 20 minutes. I have watched Jillian kick the ass of all the contestants on the Biggest Loser, so I know she is hardcore. I went to Target to pick it up and get started.

Day 1.

The video says to start on level 1 and work you way up. Ok. Easy enough. Each workout is 20 minutes long. Perfect. Gym clothes on. Shoes laced. Time to start. The music is dreadful. The workout is too easy. I didn’t even sweat. Maybe this isn’t the way to go. I go for a run and think about how pissed I am that I wasted 20 minutes listening to reject techno.

Day 1, 4 hours later.

I didn’t want to give up completely. I start level 2. This is no joke. I’m sweating like a pig and cursing at the TV in between grunts.

Day 2.

I hate chair squats and v-fly. Damn you, Jillian.

Day 3.

I decide to shred in the morning and go for a run in the fabulous Houston 90 degree weather. I’m going to die. Shred + Run = Hardcore workout. I feel like Rocky.

Day 4.

I really don’t want to shred today, but it’s only 20 minutes, so I guess I will. I’m really sore. Damn you, Jillian.

Day 5.

It’s Cinco de Mayo. If I’m going to shred, I need to do it before festivities. I shred in the morning before work and get everything done just in time to make it for margaritas at 4pm. I am sure this is not what Jillian had in mind while on this program. Jillian probably does not approve of the many tacos and chips I had today either.

Day 6.

Shredded. I think the alcohol from yesterday is seeping out through my pores. Afterwards, I go for a run. Strangely, I feel energized and have a strong run.

Day 7.

It’s another Shred + Run day. Gotta love Houston weather. 93 degrees. Die. I also decide to check my stats today to see where I am with this Shred business. No weight lost. Nothing. Not even ½ a pound. How do I know not even ½ a pound? Because I have the Tanita scale that will register that ½ pound weight loss to make you feel ½ way better. It didn’t register anything. If I were on the Biggest Loser, I would be below the yellow line today.

Day 8.

Shred + Run in the morning. It’s getting better but really, the chair squats and v-fly blow and I wish Jillian would stop making me do them. Also, Natalie (one of the workout models) is a space cadet. Jillian asks her questions and she just smiles and stares off into space.

Day 9.

Shred + Run. I feel awesome and my husband says I’m hot. Yeah. I feel like a rock star.

Day 10.

It’s Mother’s Day and if I’m going to get my shred in, I need to do it in the morning. I don’t. Apparently my family believes in the gift of food for Mother’s Day, so it’s an eat-a-thon. No shredding and I feel like a whale. Thanks, fam.

Day 11.

I shredded twice today. Double shred. Die.

Day 12.

I’m thinking about moving to level 3 but I think I’ll just hang around at level 2 a little longer. Plus, I can curse Jillian on cue.

Day 13.

I decide to move up to level 3. WTF is this!? Am I being punished? I’m a human pogo stick with all these plyometrics. I think I want to return to level 2 but if I do I feel like Jillian is going to jump out the screen and yell at me. Plus I’ll feel like a loser. I’m really not about that.

Day 14

I have the freaking munchies. I don’t want to shred but I definitely don’t want to double shred tomorrow. I decide to run and shred later. I can’t grasp the idea of doing rock star jumps today, but maybe after I run I’ll feel energized. Fail. I baked cookies, and ate 4.

Day 15

Since I skipped out on shredding yesterday, it’s a double shred day. Double shred on level 3. I am surprised the TV is still in tact. Later that evening I have 3 glasses of wine.

Day 16.

Great run, level 3 shred. Awesome! Thought I would check in on the Tanita today as well. Nothing. This isn’t going well. Where are those cookies I baked and why is there an empty bottle of wine in the fridge?

Day 17

Run. Shred. I don’t hate the plyometrics as much anymore… so I celebrate with margaritas. Cheers!

Day 18

At school today, another student comes up to me and tells me how great I look and wants to know how I lost so much weight. Wow. According to Tanita, I’m still flabby. Yay! I did get my shred in.

Day 19

Same student again comes up to me, this time she gives me a hug and tells me she is so proud of me. Well, jeez… how fat was I? Today was a shred+run day.

I’ll spare you the remaining details of the day-to-day because it’s all shred, shred+run. There was also some Bikram thrown in there, but not consistently. All in all, 30 Day Shred is a good workout. For me, I feel like I need more cardio which is why I combined running. All “run” days meant a 3 mile run in 30 minutes or less. I did notice that while I was actually doing level 3, it was hard, after I did not feel like I had a hard workout, so I started to alternate between level 2 and level 3. Also, keep in mind I didn’t really “diet.” First, I don’t do diets. Second, this was one of those months where it seemed every time I turned around there was a reason to eat and drink (I think that may be every month, though). I know numbers talk so, here is what 30 Day Shred did for me:

WAIST -2.5

WAIST (LOWER PART) -3

HIPS (TRUE) -1.5

HIPS (WHERE MY FAT POCKETS ARE) -2.5

THIGH R -1 L -1.5

ARMS R -2 L -2.5

POUNDS -3

FAT % -6.5%

xoxo

din

Get 15% off at Bliss!

2009-06-23T09:39:00.002-05:00

Click below to enjoy 15% off your purchase at blissworld.com. Hot Salt Scrub anyone?

Enjoy 15% off all Bliss and Remède purchases at blissworld.com. Enter promo code 069911 at checkout. Offer valid 6.24.09 through 6.28.09.

Winner!

2009-06-14T15:34:00.003-05:00

The winner of our give away is:

doyib22 said...

have you tried the Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment?

Congratulations, doyib22. Please email us at absolutevanity@gmail.com.

Sunscreen

2009-06-12T08:21:00.003-05:00

I have a serious fear of getting old. I also have an aversion to anything about or around me looking old. I was sitting in class one evening and we were discussing the aging process. I started to have a panic attack while discussing the theory of our DNA having a limited number of telomeres and aging occurring because they are being used up. I did not want all my telomeres used up!!! This fear carries over to things as well. I have a tendency to go around the house and throw out things that look “old.” This upsets my family, especially my husband. He seems to have the most stuff that looks “old.” I once threw out his Strivectin eye cream. It was old and I didn’t want it in the drawer anymore. I pretended he lost it when he started getting pissed about it missing. I am well aware aging is a natural process and it happens, but I am also aware of things that can help slow that process down and I intend to slow it down as much as possible. One of the ways is with sunscreen. We all know the sun is numero uno in expediting the aging process when it comes to our skin. That said, we have to protect ourselves from those UVA (you “vill” age) and UVB (you “vill” burn) rays. Since the age of 13, I have religiously worn sunscreen EVERY DAY. Yes, at the age of 13 when nothing wrinkled or even slightly creased, I was concerned about getting wrinkles and age spots. I was born vain. I have found over the years a collection of sunscreens (minimum SPF 30) that I think work well and don’t feel like sunscreen. The one thing I hate is that thick, white greasy residue a lot of sunscreens have. Here are some worth a look:

DDF Organic Sun Protection SPF 30. This is what I use everyday!!! I like this one because I recently developed a sensitivity to the ingredients of many sunscreen products. This one contains an organic sun protection (zinc and titanium dioxide) and leaves me without breakouts. I am not willing to sacrifice one evil (acne) for the other (wrinkles). I also TRY to use things that are as natural as possible, so I am happy to find a sunscreen that doesn’t have the chemical ingredients (which may possibly penetrate the skin) but still protects from the aging and burning rays. It is also fragrance free, making it great for sensitive skin.

Oil of Olay Complete SPF 30 Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. Non-greasy and very budget friendly. The active ingredients blocking the UVA/UVB rays are: Homosalate, Avobenzone, Octocrylene, Ensulizole. Just FYI… there is some speculation that the Octocrylene can penetrate into the skin and act as a photosensitizer. This results in an increased production of free radicals under illumination. Simply put, it may cause cancer. After reading, I am sure you are wondering why the hell I listed this. No. I don’t want you to get cancer. First, it hasn’t been proven that it is cancer causing, and second, it’s a great find for those on a budget. I’d rather you wear sunscreen than go without. If you don’t wear sunscreen, you most definitely will get cancer. Oh- and you’ll look old. We all know how I feel about that.

Elta MD Skincare UV Sport SPF 50. This is what I use on days spent in the sun. This one is thicker, and considering the high SPF it is relatively non-greasy. Elta also makes a moisturizer with SPF 30 that is great for daily use. The active ingredient in Elta MD is zinc oxide. Elta MD is suitable for all skin types.

Z. Bigatti Silk Screen SPF 30. Another great lightweight sunscreen. Has a super smooth feel and leaves your face feeling matte. Great for summer. Active ingredients are: Octinoxate, Octisalate, Oxybenzone, and Octocrylene. Z. Bigatti also contains hydrolyzed silk, which is supposed to be able to hold 10,000 times in water. Maybe that is why it is so damn expensive.

If you aren’t already, you need to include a sunscreen in your daily routine. If you don’t, you run the risk of damaged skin. By damaged, I mean old-looking.
xoxo din

Sedu

2009-06-10T19:14:00.006-05:00

Sedu Flat Iron

I love the Sedu! I've introduced this miraculous straightening tool to numerous friends, and it was well-received by all. I don't think there is a single girlfriend who I let borrow my Sedu who didn't end up buying one of her own. I really should be Sedu's spokeswoman.

When I first got the Sedu, my husband said my hair looked so good that I didn't need to ever see my stylist again. He said he couldn't tell the difference between what I had done and when I come home after getting my hair done. (Although I suspect that he was saying that to discourage me from spending the money to see my stylist.) Nonetheless, this is definitely the next best thing. Oh, and I was due for a relaxer the first time I used it as well, and you couldn't even tell!

Instead of just being ceramic, Sedu plates are ceramic/tourmaline. Tourmaline is a type of gem. Now, besides just the feeling that straightening your hair with a precious stone must be luxurious, tourmaline actually has a high negative ion output. I have no idea why a high negative ion output results in sleeker, more frizz-free hair, but it does. This, I think, is why the Sedu trumps the Chi- the Chi is only ceramic.

The Sedu heats up pretty instantly, no matter what temperature I set it to. It is always ready in a few seconds. When I use the Sedu, the time it takes to straighten all of my hair seems to be cut down by a third. For some, they say it cuts their time in half. The plates slide easily over my hair, and never leave any dents. The result is super straight, super shiny hair, that does not frizz easily at all. It's almost magic because my hair has ALWAYS frizzed. On a humid day, I may lose my bump, but I will not have frizz. Usually, I do not have to re-flat iron my hair for a couple of days- if I sleep carefully. This thing is wondrous, I tell you.

I don't know if other people care about this as much as I do, but it comes with a handy dandy pouch so I can put it up right away instead of waiting for it to cool down. I likes that. I adore my Sedu, and I will always use it. Now I just wish they would come out with a curling iron, because I still have not quite figured out how to do curls with a flat iron.

xoxo

nkechi

Give Away!!!

2009-06-03T19:43:00.000-05:00

To be entered in the drawing for our give away:

1. Become a follower

2. Leave a comment on any post.

Give Away!!! (Sorta)

2009-06-03T19:19:00.005-05:00

Ok, so it's not a give away from us. It's also more like a give and get, but this is good too! I was in Kiehl's this weekend and found out about a promotion they are running for the next four days (through June 7th), Shave Swap. All you have to do is bring in a 4oz (or larger) size bottle/tube/can of men's regular shave gel or cream and Kiehl's will swap it out for a FULL SIZE tube of one of their fabulous shave creams ($15 value!!!). I swapped out one today for my husband and it took like 30 seconds. Do the man in your life a favor and introduce him to Kiehl's!! Or better... swap out one for yourself. This stuff is great for shaving your legs. I like the Blue Eagle. By the way, this offer is only good at free standing Kiehl's.

Sephora Trip

2009-05-28T17:56:00.003-05:00

Today I made my restocking trip to Sephora, one of my happy places. Other happy places include Isle Pedi Spa, Bliss Catalog and a Well Stocked Bar. I thought I would share with you some of my regular beauty items and why I love them so.

DDF Organic Sun Protection SPF 30. I wear sunscreen religiously in hopes of retaining a youthful appearance well into my 70’s. I don’t know if I will be able to handle botox injections nor am I sure I WANT them, so I have to do what I can to prevent aging. I’m really not interested in looking old. Lately, most sunscreens I used made me break out. This seemed to happen after having my son. I couldn’t figure out why all of a sudden I was breaking out. The helpful sales associate at Sephora pinpointed the issue for me. I was having a reaction to the chemical ingredients in many sunscreens. Quick pause… NO this is not reason for you to avoid sunscreen!!! Ok, back to what I was saying. She suggested I try this DDF brand. Not only do I not break out, it’s not greasy and even though it isn’t a “moisturizer,” I can get away with just the DDF itself on warm days. It also doesn’t leave that thick, white layer on your face that makes you look like a mime.

Dior Show Mascara in Black. I don’t see anything wrong with Tammy Faye Baker eyelashes. The longer and thicker, the better! I’m not particularly adept in applying false lashes (I would wear them everyday!) therefore I have to find other ways to pump up my lashes. Dior Show Mascara does the trick and it does it without clumping and flaking.

Clinique Moisture Surge. Sometimes you need a little extra moisture, but you don’t want to slather on another cream. This stuff is great. It’s a lightweight gel and really gives you the extra hydration you need. We used this like mad on our ski/snowboard trip to Tahoe last spring to keep our skin supple. Even the guys used it. Shhhh….

Benefit Benetint. This is an oldie but goodie. I urge everyone to try it out next time they are in Sephora. If the hue works on your skin tone, it will become an essential part of your product collection. Benetint creates the perfect rosy tint and I love that it isn’t a powder or a cream, just a stain. This makes it great for summertime, especially if you live in an oven like I do: Houston, TX.

Bliss Hot Salt Scrub. I go through so much of this, I wish they would make it in ginormous jumbo size. This is the best scrub ever. It feels awesome, smells awesome and your skin is baby smooth afterwards. My Sunday evening ritual is a Bliss Hot Salt Scrub and a ~~bottle~~ glass of wine. Light some candles and it’s like the spa came to me. Of course, it would be even better if someone did it for me and all I had to do was lie down and have dead skin sloughed off, but there is no Bliss in Houston (Bliss, where are you!?), so my spa re-creation is the next best thing.

Philosophy Pure Grace. A clean, crisp, light fragrance. Normally, my preference in fragrance is odd. I like weird scents nobody else does such as Alexander McQueen’s Kingdom. Once when I went to buy a bottle, the sales associate asked me why I wanted to buy it. Apparently, the rest of the world felt the same way. Kingdom has been discontinued. I wish it would come back. I’m on my last drop. But, back to Pure Grace. A great, clean everyday scent. I get lots of compliments.

That’s all in my little black bag today. I also saw lots of great stuff to try, so check back for posts in the near future. I always seem to leave Sephora with an issue I didn’t even know I had until seeing a product.

MBTs Masai Barefoot Technology Shoes

2009-05-28T14:30:00.006-05:00

MBTs

What are MBTs? MBT stands for Masai Barefoot Technology. Yeah. I don’t know what that means either. The company says these shoes have all sorts of benefits ranging from improved posture to toning and shaping. Really, the only thing I care about among the seven benefits MBT delivers is the “tones and shapes the body” benefit. My first encounter with MBTs was about seven years ago. I was at the office and the delivery guy walked in. I never paid any attention to him, but apparently, everyone else in the office did because they always snickered when he walked in. They were laughing at his shoes. The next time he came in, I thought I would see what was so funny. He had on these thick, black shoes. They looked stupid. They looked like they were for some weird walking issue or something. I guess he saw me looking at them, so he stopped by my desk and asked if he could talk to me about something. Uh-oh. Did I make some weird facial expression when I looked at his shoes (I’m good for that) and now he is here to tell me that he has some sort of rare disorder and I should be ashamed for making fun of him? Nope, not at all. Worse. He wanted to tell me about his shoes and how he lost 67 pounds with them and that I should try them too so I can lose weight. Huh? Did he just tell me I am fat? The guy wearing Frankenstein shoes is criticizing me? WTF? Well, it couldn’t have offended me that much because three years later, in yet another attempt to shortcut achieving killer legs, I’m in the Bliss catalog ordering MBTs. My main reason for ordering MBTs wasn’t for weight loss, nor was it for improved posture. It was for toning my legs. Bliss really pumped these shoes up. After reading the reviews, I thought I was on my way to thighs of steel. At the time, MBTs came in white, black, gray and (NEW!) blue. Like a dumbass, I ordered (NEW!) blue. I’m such a sucker for marketing. My MBTs arrive! They even came with a video. Instructions for shoes? Eh- I think I can wing it. I am supposed to wear them everyday, all day. This gives me flashbacks to delivery man. Uh- not happening. I decided I would wear them all the time around the house, walking, select trips to Target and the grocery store, and on the way to drop my daughter off to school (we walk). The next evening, I decide to take my MBTs for a walk. I get dressed in my workout clothes and realize how wrong (NEW!) blue MBTs look with my workout clothes (and everything else for that matter). Oh well. I go for a walk around a trail near the house. I don’t notice anything while I am walking. The rocking action of the shoe isn’t that noticeable to me and I definitely don’t feel any toning going on. When I get home, I need to run to Target. I wear my MBTs there too. My husband came along with me. Halfway through the shopping trip he turns to me and asks me, “did you have to wear those? They look stupid.” I really can’t argue with him. They do look stupid. Especially in (NEW!) blue, but I was on a mission to achieve toned legs. I tried my MBTs out for about 3 months. I didn’t notice that my legs looked anymore toned. Then again, I didn’t really wear them all day everyday as instructed. They are comfortable shoes, but they just don’t go with my wardrobe. I went running in them one day, but I ended up looking like Forest Gump. I put the $180 MBTs away in the box. It just isn’t practical to use them the way they are intended to be used to achieve results, at least not for me. I see many women walking around in MBTs (less obvious black MBTs). I even see this one guy wearing the sandals. This makes no sense to me, but it makes even less sense that he wears the sandals with slacks. What makes the least amount of sense is that he also wears them with socks. I know he is trying to follow the directions and wear them everyday, but how about the regular black shoes? Why sandals? Anyway, my advice is if you don’t plan to wear your MBTs everyday all the time, don’t waste the money, but if you do, get a neutral color. Don’t buy (NEW!) blue.

xoxo

din

Mesotherapy Injections Part 2

2009-05-21T11:12:00.003-05:00

Mesotherapy part 2

After my success with mesotherapy first time around, I figured I would give it a try after my son was born. All the fantastic results from Mesotherapy Part 1 went to shit after I ate my way through my second pregnancy. I weaned my son off breastfeeding, did workouts here and there and figured it was time to melt the fat sticking to the outside of my thighs like winter storage. This time around, I came across an office in Houston and decided to give them a try. Plus, the injections were ½ the price of Mesotherapy Part 1. Great, right? I schedule my appointment and look forward to fitting into my clothes again.

I arrive at the office and begin completing all the same types of forms I completed during Mesotherapy Part 1. I know what to expect this time around and I had already prepared to lay low for 2 weeks because of the swelling. First step, I am weighed. 135 pounds. Not only does the scale tell me my weight, it continues to insult me calculating my body fat percentage and BMI. Do I really need to know all this to get these injections? I mean that is why I’m here, too much fat. I don’t need to be reminded of it three different ways by a machine. After the scale taunts me, I am taken into a room where the nurse pulls out a tape measure. “So we can track your results. It’s just part of the procedure” I’m not a tape measure person. I track results by sight and fit. But… ok. She continues to measure and then begins on my waist, arms, pretty much everywhere. Um, if I am here for my thighs, why are all the other measurements necessary? I don’t ask questions but I wish she would get right to the shots. Finally, the assessment of how large I am is complete and it’s time to get to work. Now, Mesotherapy Part 1, I basically dropped my pants and the doctor injected. This time, she asks me to disrobe and get on the table. I follow orders and wait on the table. It’s freezing cold in the room. The AC is on full blast and there is no cover. In she walks with ice packs. Ice packs? She wraps my legs up with ice packs explaining she wants to numb my legs so I won’t feel pain. I tell her I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and the injections won’t hurt me. I also tell her I have zero tolerance for freezing ice packs smashed to my legs for 30 minutes. She tells me, “it’s just part of the procedure.” She leaves the room so I can go into hypothermia privately. After about 20 minutes, she returns and asks if I am comfortable. “No.” She apologizes, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Finally, the injections. She begins doing all her preparations as I literally freeze my ass off. Really, I think I lost like 5 pounds during the “prep time.” She injects away on my first leg and then starts to massage it. I don’t remember this so I ask her what she is doing. She tells me, “it’s just part of the procedure.” This “massage” is the worst thing I have ever felt. My leg is still frozen, I have just been injected like 15 times and here she is rubbing me the way you would rub a dresser if you were sanding it. I don’t even want to move on to leg two. Around this time, I start to wonder things such as, “whatever happened to good old diet and exercise?” and “what the hell is wrong with me?” and “I hope I don’t get cancer from this.” I got lost in my thoughts and stopped paying attention to what was happening until the massage assault on my second leg started. “You do know I am here for mesotherapy, right?” She tells me yes and, “it’s just part of the procedure.” Do they give them scripts?

Finally, it is over and I can leave the torture room. I pay and get out of there as fast as I can. The worst part is over. Now I can sit back and swell up. So I thought. The torture room was just the beginning. Yes, I was swollen, but not like Mesotherapy Part 1. It was more uneven. I also had very, very, very bad bruising. I looked like I belong in a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Even my husband noticed the difference, “you didn’t look like that last time.” Thanks. Two weeks went by and it was time for my checkup. The swelling went down, but not completely. I was also very sore and tender. I figured I would bring it up at the checkup. I arrive and I am put through the whole scale, BMI, tape measurement hell again. “You gained inches.” “Yeah! Because I am still swollen!” She said I should come back in a week so she can see the progress. I went home, and a few days later, still swollen and sore, I decided NOT to return ever again. The soreness lasted MONTHS after the injections. Lessons learned: Shortcuts are not the way to go; I have to put in the work and effort. Secondly, not all mesotherapy is equal.

xoxo

din

Poetic Wax by Bliss

2009-05-20T10:30:00.006-05:00

Poetic Wax for Hair Removal

I hate making time for waxing appointments. Typically, I hate making time for any appointments if they aren't for massages or pedicures. Or lunch. But waxing is the worst. It is the least fun girly maintenance type of thing to do. It yields the best results as far as hair removal goes, but it has its reasons why it sucks. First of all, it hurts! Plain and simple, it hurts, and it is very hard to keep from kicking your waxer. (One time, I had one lady who laughed at me during a bikini wax. I was in so much pain, and she actually chuckled. I thought, “Really? You find this amusing? Here I am, in such a compromising position, exposed on your table, clutching my skin taut as you rip my hairs out while I writhe in pain, and you are humored by it. Go ahead and rub the salt in, bitch!”) Secondly, you have to wait until your hair is long enough. Usually, I just get bikini waxes. Once I did decide to do a leg waxing, only I didn't have enough hair. I had to “save up” for weeks, and I was downright furry. And then there's the cost. $30 bucks each time. And did I mention it's painful? Thus, I put it off for as long as possible.

Then I was introduced to Poetic Waxing by Bliss. It is a home waxing kit. It comes in a little enamel mug. You melt it, spread it over a hairy area, and pull it off. My favorite thing about it is that no strips are required. It's pretty simple. That said, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to use it. Hopefully, if you read this before trying Poetic wax, then you will be forewarned about the woes of self waxing. If I can prevent just one person from damn near mutilating their bikini area, then my job is done. There are a few rules one should keep in mind while waxing at home:

Don't overheat your wax. I use a candle warmer for mine. One time, halfway through, I stirred the wax. The wax toward the bottom of the cup was the hottest. It was a little too hot- ouch!
Don't sit on a good towel while waxing. The wax is dark blue, and it doesn't come out. Also, make sure you clean up thoroughly after waxing, looking for all traces of wax that may be surrounding your area. I thought I had gotten all the wax cleaned up the first time I used it, but apparently not. For days, I continued to find blue wax everywhere: in the carpet, in my husband's t-shirt, and even on the mattress. Go figure.
Very important- Trim first! More on this later.
Very, muy, ultra, super important- Leave the big jobs to the pros! This is probably the single most important lesson Poetic wax has taught me.

Let me share with you a little story:

The first time I used the wax, I just did my bikini line. It was fine. The second time, I decided I was going to do the whole enchilada. That was not fine. I was beyond due for a wax, and I didn't trim first. After all the times I'd been to the salon for a waxing and they've told me that my hair wasn't long enough, I'm thinking that the more hair there is, the better! The outer edges were done easily, but as I worked my way inward I became distressed. Here's what you get when you do not trim first: not a clean strip of wax that you can easily pull off, but a mixture of wax and hair that is a tangled mess. Think if you melted some wax, threw a bunch of hair in, stirred it up, sculpted it into a small animal, and then let it harden. Good luck pulling that off. See, as we all know, the secret to waxing is that the strip needs to be pulled off in one swift, fluid motion. There was no room for swiftness or fluidity in this mess I had gotten myself into. I may as well have been plucking each hair one by one. The pain was unbearable. I was sweating, and quite close to panicking. There was no way out of this except to take that knot of wax and yank. And I just couldn't do that to myself! I had to enlist help. My dear husband, bless his heart... I won't get too graphic here; you get the point. Which is, LEAVE THE BIG JOBS TO THE PROS! Don't try to go Brazilian on your own. Some things are better left up to professional help, and well worth the money. But for bikini lines and upper lips, knock yourself out with Poetic Waxing home wax kit.

xoxo

nkechi

Poetic Wax

2009-05-19T21:33:00.004-05:00

Poetic Wax for Hair Removal

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Poetic Wax! First of all, I am a hairy beast and as mentioned, I have mutant hair. Hair sprouts all over me. I remove it, two days later it’s growing back. Needless to say, I do not have time to run to get a wax every two days. Even if I did have the time, I just wouldn’t want to. The bikini wax is the most popular method for hair removal, and I agree 100%. For the upper lip, I know people that pluck, but I’m not a moustache plucker. I also know people that bleach, which I never understood. The hair is still there, it’s just lighter… and really, to be honest, it annoys me when I see that. It reminds me of a 70’s used car salesman for some reason. So, I prefer wax. I want every little hair gone. So…. Nair sorts of things are unbearable. The scent is terrible, and then right under your nose, ugh!! Plus, I tried it once and I had this weird red stripe which looked like I had a fever blister that stretched from one end of my lip to the other. Horrific! I have no coordination to thread, so I sought out an at-home wax kit. First and last stop, Bliss catalog. I ordered the Poetic wax kit and anticipated its arrival.

Poetic arrives and I pull out all the contents, read the directions and get to work. Over time, here is what I learned about using Poetic:

- The instructions tell you to use some fancy French word for a skillet of hot water. Use a candle warmer. I waited FOREVER for the wax to melt in the hot water. The wax also cooled very quickly. A candle warmer is much more effective. Plus it’s weird to go back and forth from kitchen to bathroom with a skillet of water. I got looks.

- It is a bad idea to put Poetic on the candle warmer before you leave for work and decide to wax when you come home.

- The pre and post wax stuff really does help. Especially if you are waxing your bikini area. More on the bikini area later.

- Relatively speaking, Poetic doesn’t hurt. This is important to know when and if you decide to tackle your bikini line. ‘

- Never use Poetic for shaping the eyebrow area. Never. Very undesirable results.

- Poetic says “four weeks” but I find myself pulling it out two days later. This may not be your experience, I am sure this has something to do with my mutant hair.

Over time, this is what I have learned about Poetic specific to the bikini area:

- Poetic is not extremely painful. Why do I keep mentioning this? Because if you do brave waxing the bikini line, you need to know this so you aren’t afraid to pull the wax off. Hesitation to pull the wax leads to pain. Don’t think twice about it. Just pull. Pull quickly.

- Never, ever, ever, ever do a rush bikini wax. Never. I won’t go into detail here, but let’s just say little pieces of blue wax will accompany you to your destination.

- Keep it simple. There is a reason you are not employed as a waxer. Know and understand this. Repeat this to yourself of this when you decide to give yourself a Brazillian.

- If you take the winter off from waxing, cut before the first wax of Spring.

Poetic Wax can be found at Bliss and Sephora.

xoxo

din

Bikram Hot Yoga

2009-05-14T15:22:00.003-05:00

Bikram (Hot) Yoga

The term, “That's hot,” has become very popular in describing things that are trendy. “That's hot,” is exactly how I would describe Bikram Yoga. Not because it is trendy. Well, it is. But I describe it that way because it's f-ing HOT! Scorchingly hot.

My sister was very successful losing weight doing Bikram Yoga. Still, at first I was resistant to the idea. I don't do trendy workouts. No yoga, no pilates, no pole dancing. I thought that if I was going to work out, I was going to do a “real” workout. Hit the pavement!

Well, that didn't work out either. And I so badly wanted to dismiss these stubborn ten pounds. (Am I keeping these ten pounds because they are stubborn, or because I am? Too stubborn to eat right and work out regularly...) So, Din suckered me in. I went to yoga with her. I signed up and paid for not one, but ten sessions. And they threw in a complimentary eleventh one to boot. I was on my way to svelte. At least that's what my sister told me. This is what she did not tell me:

Bikram (HOT) Yoga f-ing sucks! I didn't like it the moment I walked into the building. Inhale. Feet. Sweaty ones. New to yoga, I did not have my own mat. $1 and you get to borrow one. It, too, reeked of sweaty feet. This is just the front room. Proceed to the door of the yoga room, open it up and- WHOOSH! Wet heat smacks you in the face, you inhale, and it smells like crotch. Sweaty crotch.

Now let me get to why I really loathe Bikram Yoga. Minimum temperature is 105 degrees. You feel each and every one of those degrees. I didn't have to worry about the smell too much, because before long I couldn't breathe. The heavy heat was suffocating me, and I couldn't breathe. Then the instructor instructed us to breathe. “Empty our lungs.” She had us do a series of exhalations to empty the lungs, but there weren't enough satisfying inhalations, in my opinion, to counteract the lightheadedness I felt. And that wasn't fair.

The first pose was one where you put your arms straight up in the air over your head, and press your palms together. Ardha-Chandrasana. Sounds easy enough. By now, the sweat was dripping, pouring out of each pore. Down my arms, down my back, trickling down the backs of my legs. Really, everywhere. My ankles were sweating. And I'd only been in the room for a few minutes. I'd only had my hands over my head for a few seconds, but they were starting to tingle. This was hard, and for the first time, I thought to myself, “I can't do this.” We were expected to hold our arms in said position, and lean far to the right, and hold it. And then lean far to the left, and hold it. I couldn't stay still. I had to move, sway my hips forwards and backwards. It took forever to get to the next pose. I don't remember what it was, but it was definitely harder. I tried to hold it; I really did. Who is this Bikram Yoga guy and what was he thinking when he created this? I looked to my left and to my right, and everyone had such serene expressions on their faces as they held their pose. HOW??? I fell to my mat. Sweet savasana.

Savasana was my saving grace during this 90 MINUTE session. (Yes, 90 minutes, and the longest hour and a half ever.) The instructor told us we could get into this rest position at any time we deemed necessary, and I was taking full advantage. All you have to do is lie flat with your arms at your sides for savasana. This is where I had time to think about if this is where I needed to be at this point in my life. I looked over at the clock. 75 minutes left. Sigh. A small voice inside of me asked, “Is this what hell feels like?” I muster the strength to rise again. I didn't want to be a giver upper!

We did a series of demanding stretch poses. Some I was able to hold surprisingly well. Still others, were slippery. Literally. There is one where you have to balance on one foot and hold the other foot in your hands, fingers interlocked, leg bent at a 90 degree angle. (The official Bikram Yoga name for this position is Dandayamana-Janushirasana.) Then, if you feel you can, stretch that leg out straight, parallel with the floor, all the while holding the foot flat in your interlocked fingers. I tried, and quickly reverted back to the right angle style. Which was a challenge in itself, because all the sweat kept threatening to make holding that foot impossible. Very slippery. With all my strength I tried to hold on. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the sweat slide down my face. I thought, “Even my eyelids are sweating! Or wait, is that a tear?” I looked to my left and to my right. Serenity. Again, I fell to my mat. There was a succession of these types of torturous poses to hold throughout the session, and I damn sure used my savasanas liberally.

It was a joyous moment when the session was over! I didn't enjoy it at all, but I did feel that I had accomplished something. I felt proud. I felt limber. And I felt spent, which was surprising since I hardly moved the whole time. Despite hating it, I made myself go back for more. I had, after all, an 11-pack deal. I used five of them. And left early during one of those. (What? Would YOU like to help yourself to my remaining sessions??) It is not for everybody, but Bikram Yoga has absolutely earned my respect as a tough workout.

xoxo

~ nkechi

Mesotherapy Injections

2009-05-13T15:44:00.002-05:00

Mesotherapy

Why did I subject myself to mesotherapy? Cellulite pretty much sucks and I’m pretty sure I am not the only one who detests cellulite. I’m sure I am joined by millions of you out there. I also can bet most of you millions have tried all kinds of things to rid yourself of the dimples. I have tried it all. Slatherings of all sorts, brutal rub downs and scrubbings, constrictive saran wraps, everything. The most extreme of all these “dimple cures” being mesotheraphy injections. Now, I am a total wimp when it comes to needles. I hate them! I cry, hyperventilate and run around the lab screaming like a banshee when I have to have my blood drawn. Needles and I are not compatible. But for beauty, bring it on!

I went to a plastic surgeon’s office in Houston to have the mesotherapy injections. I don’t know exactly what made me pick him, I just found out he did them and I was on the phone booking my appointment. “Yes. Hi. I have cellulite and I need mesotherapy.” I got an appointment within 2 days. Considering the procedure, I should have done more due diligence in selecting a doctor, but I had a one track mind at that point. Must…get…cellulite…free. During those two days when I should have been researching mesotherapy, I combed through my closet to move all the outfits I would be able to wear sans spanx to the front. I went shopping and bought a swimsuit. I had to go shopping anyway for a birthday gift and just happened to pass a hot swimsuit. My now husband’s birthday was the same day as my mesotherapy injections.

I enter the office. I am weighed, 117 pounds. I am then asked some general questions beyond what was on the 50 forms I completed. Was there a form for side effects? Oh well, where are the injections? Ten minutes later the doctor walks in and tells me I will have fabulous results. Great! I am given about 5-7 injections on either side of my outer thighs, inner thighs, and the back of my thigh. No pain. I pull up my jeans and ask if there are any special instructions. None. He tells me I may experience some swelling, but it will go down in a few days. Hmmm… ok. Sounds fine. I pay $1200 and I leave the office with instructions to return in 2 weeks. I have exactly 4 hours to get ready for dinner.

I drive home, which is about 15 minutes away from the office. I walk in and I notice my thighs are rubbing together as I walk. Huh? My thighs don’t do that. I decide to go inspect in my full length mirror. This must be the swelling doctor mentioned. The problem is, this “swelling” is not minor. It’s major. As in what looked like an eight inch increase around my hips. I was HUGE!! I peel off my jeans. Yes. I said peel. I had swollen up so much I stretched my jeans out 2 sizes larger. I look in the mirror. Even worse without clothing. I was swollen and I looked like someone had taken a baseball bat and repeatedly beat me over and over again. I had given “thunder thighs” new meaning. This was not the sexy happy birthday look I was going for that night.

I went to dinner anyway dressed in the nicest dress I had that covered up the disaster called my thighs. I arrived before my husband did so I was already seated at the table hiding my mesotherapy thunder thighs. Halfway through dinner he decided to feel me up and reached back in horror. “What’s wrong with you!?” he asked. All I could do was tell him what happened. “Cellulite. Don’t want it. Mesotherapy. Swollen. Disaster.” Our evening ended early.

Two weeks and 14 days in the same sweatpants later, all the swelling had gone down and all bruises vanished. I was cellulite free!!! Even better, an added bonus was I had lost inches. I don’t know the exact amount of inches. I never bothered to measure. I was too giddy with my cellulite free thin thighs. I did slip into some size 25 jeans which I had never been able to do before. These were magic mesotherapy injections! I was so pleased with my results, I cancelled my second set of injections. Plus, I didn’t think I could hide out again for another 2 weeks. My results lasted for a good three years or so then I got pregnant and my smooth, slim, cellulite-free thighs turned into something like a cross between cottage cheese and jello.

So- mesotherapy. Totally worth it. Just make sure you don’t have anything important to do for about 2 weeks following your mesotherapy treatment. Oh, and don’t think it’s something you can do and hide from your significant other. “Honey, I’ve been working out!” It’s not. He WILL notice. It’s said you need between 2 and 4 mesotherapy treatments. I got away with 1. I could have gone back, but I didn’t see the need for it. I definitely recommend mesotherapy!!

xoxo

din

Smooth Away for Hair Removal

2009-05-12T15:50:00.004-05:00

Smooth Away for Hair Removal

As an alternative to shaving and waxing, I decided to give Smooth Away a try. I have a battle with hair removal. Actually, it's an all out never ending war. I have mutant hair. The kind that grows back the very next day after shaving. Waxing, which normally keeps you in the clear for 2 weeks lasts a mere 3-4 days and brings hellacious ingrown hairs. Cream removals get the job done with minimal ingrown hairs, but the hair grows back quickly and standing around in the bathroom inhaling the scent while it “works” is not the least bit sexy. Try using Nair for hair removal before getting dressed up in lingerie for your man and see how that goes. I heard about Smooth Away from my six year old daughter. She asked me to buy it for her. Yes. She is six. Why she is concerned about hair removal or smooth away is beyond me. She saw an infomercial for it. I told her it probably didn’t work and she didn’t need to remove any hair. Secretly though, I got online after she went to bed to look for Smooth Away. I ended up not ordering it online, but went to Target the next day and it was there in the checkout lane. Smooth Away. $9.99. I picked it up.

The directions were pretty simple. The pads look like a pumice scour pad. You just peel the backing and apply it on the applicator. There are two sizes of applicators. I go with the larger one. I have mutant hair to tackle. I decide to try it on my bikini line. The directions stated clockwise 3 times, counterclockwise 3 times, repeat until hair is removed. I had to do about 30 clockwise/counterclockwise sets. Slight irritation and dusty gray all over, but the hair was gone. But where did it go? I still haven’t figured that out yet. I applied lotion, and the dusty gray went away. Smooth Away calls this dusty gray stuff a result of exfoliation. I call it gray dust. The red irritation also went away after awhile. I used Smooth Away about four days after using Nair. My hair had already sprouted like weeds by then. Smooth Away got rid of the hair pretty quickly. I haven’t mustered up the courage to try it on my face, the other hair patch that causes me grief. I’m afraid it will be too irritating.

A few days after using Smooth Away, like most other methods, I was left with ingrown hairs. This is normal to me as many other hair removal methods cause ingrown hairs. Of course, my hair had already returned. I used Smooth Away again and gone! I think I really like this product. I don’t know if I would substitute it completely for wax or for standing around 10 minutes with Nair, but Smooth Away is good for in between.

xoxo

din